I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaÃt comercial?
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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