Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
