I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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