sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize
