uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Randomize
