I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
