i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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