Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Randomize
