My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
