you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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