Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Randomize
