are you so shy because you have an std?
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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