these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
