he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
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