quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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