They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
This is my gift to your gina
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Randomize
