Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Who died my cat blue again?
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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