I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Randomize
