You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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