So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Randomize
