I smell stomach acid.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
