Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
