apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
