He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
