i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Randomize
