i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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