then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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