A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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