You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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