why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
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