your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
