he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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