Cold hands, warm shart.
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
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