So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Randomize
