2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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