3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Randomize
