Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize
