A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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