You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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