Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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