K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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