Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
