i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
