I don't think brook has ever known best
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
either way he was missing a nipple.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
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