Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Randomize
