I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
