also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
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