He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
