But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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