dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Randomize
