i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
