You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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