Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
