HIV tests are more positive than that guy
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
