so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
